The Metamorphosis From Wanna Be to “I am Artist, Hear Me Roar!”

Where are you now? Where do you want to be?

butterfly
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It’s either genetics or the intrinsic paradox of the creative personality.

In childhood, I loved to create. My dad always encouraged me. He’s an artist at heart.

But I was also driven to pursue straight a’s. My mother is utterly practical, pragmatic and highly logical. Her presence was a constant reminder to stay focused on “reality”. And yet I read books like breathing: constantly, as if my life depended on it. Escaping into worlds created by others, I quickly yearned to create such worlds of my own. I wrote stories that challenged my teacher’s preconceptions about what was possible: Indiana Jones goes to Narnia.

In my teen years, I used my intelligence and the opportunities my parents provided to graduate early and go to junior college at 16 years. To satisfy my mother’s practical demands, I worked during the summers. But when I finally decided on my major, somehow I chose art.

You’d think I was off to a great start on the creative life.

But then, after graduating with an A.A. degree at 18 years old, I figured it was time for the foolishness of youth to end. Time to get “a real job”. My mother’s practical voice drowned out the daydreamer voice of my dad. And I started working for a temp agency doing office work. I was a receptionist. A filing clerk. A data entry drone. A technical writer and illustrator. A software manual publisher. A software interface designer.

I became a writer/designer of online help manuals when hypertext started its world debut as the World-Wide Web in the early-mid 90’s. Just in time to enter into HTML and web design on the ground floor. Today, I have over a decade of professional web design experience.

But I haven’t finished my first graphic novel.
I haven’t done a single digital painting that I’m satisfied with.
I haven’t finished my first movie script.

The things that matter most to my creative heart were neglected. Not for lack of interest. Not for lack of time. Not for lack of talent, software or opportunity.

It wasn’t even the fault of my left-brain-dominant mother.

Mostly, it was out of fear.

The shifty, shady, insidious root of fear

I could fill a tome thicker than a bible with the excuses that have traveled through my gray cells over my lifetime so far. Excuses not to do my art.

I’m convinced that these excuses are not born within us, though we certainly give them homes. I believe there is a dark force in the world that desires to steal every good thing, to kill every wonderful creation, to destroy every destiny. That’s just what I believe.

Whatever the source, when we examine our reasons for not pursuing our art, it’s surprising how many excuses are rooted in fear.

Fear of rejection.
Fear of neglecting important things.
Fear of failure.

Oddly, fear of success.

What has changed?

I share this story to give a backdrop to my presence here in this part of net-space. Because of my professional design background, I have all the technical tools I need: software, hardware, speedy net access. My artistic skills are somewhat polished, and I can draw or illustrate electronically just about anything a client might need.

But I’m new to the manga and digital art world, where my heart truly lies. And so I speak with the voice of experience — yet with the humility of a newbie. (Probably a good policy to stick with, regardless of how “expert” one becomes in a field.)

You see, I made a decision a little while ago. A decision that has changed my life.

I chose to believe.
To believe that what I dream is what I’m created to do.
Who I’m created to be.

No longer an office drone.
No longer a doubting Thomas.
No longer a victim of circumstance.
A believer.
A creator.
A writer.

Every week now, I write. Something.
Every week now, I draw. Something.
Every week now, I overcome. Something.

I am artist. Hear me roar!

What about you?

So? What are you waiting for?

Have you taken the leap yet?
The leap of faith?

What have you dreamed all your life, but never dared to believe? Leave a comment and share! Let’s believe together for the fulfillment of our destinies!

I am a creative genius with decisions of grandeur – and you can be too

Yeah, okay, so why is this blog here? And what’s in it for YOU?

There are thousands of us out here: creative artists or writers with great dreams of making a living doing our art. And there are thousands of obstacles between us and our destinies, and probably millions of excuses that we’ve allowed to block our progress, in one way or another.

Well, NO MORE.

I’m here to say “I’M LIVING THE DREAM” and I believe you can, too. So stay tuned and sign up for my RSS feed to get regular shots in the arm from Dr. Thea, CgD. Everything from resources you can use (Photoshop brushes, links to great online freebies, etc) to practical tips on being more creative and achieving your dreams, one step at a time.

Tried and true

And listen, you’ve got my commitment that this isn’t empty, regurgitated theoretical advice I read in a book somewhere. I’m gonna tell it to you like it is for me every day. If I give you a tip, it’s gonna be ’cause I walked it out myself and proved it works.


chrome hill…, originally uploaded by tricky â„¢.

Ready for the ride? I am! If you’re on this creative journey, too, let’s link arms and travel it together for a while. Two heads are better than one, they say. When it comes to creativity, it’s absolutely true. Just imagine what we’ll have when there’s a hundred or thousand of us together? Sounds like heaven to me.

Let’s get started.

why do we remember movies?

is entertainment media really just a frivolous way to pass the time? or can it be more?

Transformers

as someone born in the latter half of the 20th century, i grew up with TV and movies. i watched a few cartoon series (yes, Transformers was one of them).

well, more than watched them. i remember memorizing whole episodes so i could relate them to my dad when he got home from work — the dialogue as close to word-for-word as i could get it. speaking of my dad, i’m a second generation Trekkie because of him. i’m probably a lover of sci-fi because of him, too.

(thanks, dad!)

my interest in storytelling, story making and even things like memorizing dialogue was either a reflection of my creative passions or perhaps my environment shaped them a bit. whatever the case, certain scenes have become ingrained in my consciousness and stayed with me over the years.

why do movies have such impact?

have you ever wondered why movies, or even books, have such impact on our lives? i believe it is of great significance and deserves more than a passing thought.

especially for anyone in creative endeavors.

why do i remember a Japanese hobo cooking a stolen egg for a little boy every time i make an omelette? it’s Tampopo’s fault.

every time i hear the word “inconceivable”, why do i hear a wiry swordsman’s Spanish accent: “you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means.” because of The Princess Bride, of course!

okay, so they’re great movies to me. but not everyone would agree. everyone has different life-impacting movies.

is it because they’re funny? well, they are, but Tampopo is serious, too. so that’s not the only factor.

personally, i believe it’s because the human brain is such an amazing and faithful machine: it takes what it sees and hears and incorporates it as a memory. a slightly less-intense memory than something that happened to us directly, but still a memory.

a vicarious experience is an experience nonetheless,

and it shapes us just as living shapes us. especially if our living isn’t especially exciting on its own. we walk out of a theater triumphant, angry, depressed or inspired to greatness.

shared experiences

even more powerful are shared experiences. the movies and one-liners that i remember the best are ones i shared with others. my friends and i would quote favorite scenes from the Princess Bride back and forth, until we got distracted or laughed ourselves silly. there’s hardly a line in the movie i cannot complete.

*sniff*
“iocane powder. i’d bet my life on it.”

i mean, seriously, i’m still laughing, just typing the line above. now there was a character you were invited to despise, no question. he was begging for it, and didn’t even know it.

i’d dissect everything i watched in great detail afterwards from a writer’s perspective. talking it over with friends just cemented it all in my mind. especially the ones i watched again and again. heh!

there are many, many whole books i’ve read out loud to friends and family. the LOTR series, multiple times. the Vorkosigan series by Lois McMaster Bujold (i simply cannot recommend these enough or run out of good things to say about this author! the woman is not a multi-award winner for nothing!).

sharing the experience with others makes an amazing collective consciousness effect. everyone catches different angles on a story. hearing their viewpoint fills in holes in your own observations and brings epiphanies even after the movie or book is long over.

and after all,
when you love something,
who doesn’t want to share it
and talk to others who share your passion?

thus we have fandom.
a topic for another time.

the garden

there is a concept that is quickly becoming central to my philosophy of life.

my heart is a patch of soil.
it could be a garden.

my life grows out of the soil of my heart, using the seeds i plant in it. the soil is as moist and rich or as dry and sterile as i make it. everything i create is, more or less, coming out of my very innermost being. but what is in me?

> a gatorade commercial comes to mind…
successful marketing, right there:
is it in you? <

what am i experiencing every moment of my day? what passes in front of my eyes? how is it being connected to everything that has come before?

is my garden thick and overgrown, cluttered and choked?
or is it well-tended,
rich in nutrients and things that will make for yummy fruit?

what we watch becomes a part of us.
what we read becomes a part of us.
what we experience becomes a part of us.

DON’T MISS THIS: what we create and others ingest… becomes a part of them.

we become a part of them.
because what we create is a part of us.

doesn’t that trip you out?
it boggles.